romuz

"Beware of Baby Trainers"?? as a foundational building block of your philosophy? I think Sears takes it too far when he refers to all other parenting styles as "detached." He is misguided at best; arrogant at his worst. I agree that emotionally bonding and attaching with my child is important, but not with the underlying premise that a child was [emotionally] traumatized at birth and needs to be near to parents (24/7) to receive this attachment. I also find it laughable that Sears spends 80% of the book defending the child-centered AP style, calling on Almighty Science (every parenting book does too, Sears) often demonizing all others, namely "baby trainers." [A side note on Sears' psychological arguement:] I think the danger of using pop psychology as a basis for parenting is that it is like philosophy--it's man-made, and it tends to lean humanistic. I agree with the fundamental definition and application of the attachment theory (Bowly), but I think it's quite dangerous to assert psychoanalysis over what is communicated in the Scriptures and what occurs naturally in my experience. I've never considered myself a baby trainer, like he so antagonistically characterizes anyone who has let their baby cry or lovingly used routine or a schedule to bring order to her child's sleep and eating habits, but according to Dr. Sears I am a "BT" and I'm dead wrong and detached. He would call me well-meaning, but wrong. Awful folks like me treat their children like pets according to Dr. Sears (pg. 119). I obviously disagree. I created a routine, am happy I did, and I am still learning how to respond to my son. It seems to me that our bonding has been successful alongside training him in the way he should go (Proverbs 22:6). Dr. Sears would say that baby knows best (pg. 127, and others), but I would argue that sometimes babies perceive a need that is not legitimate and it is okay at an early age to meet it in the appropriate way (the need to wait vs. be near, hunger vs. sleepiness, etc.). Dr. Sears would agree with this, but it's subtle and I feel like he goes back and forth. This book was helpful, but not complete. I suggest someone interested in parenting styles not buy into one book or one doctor/psychologist's way of seeing the parent/child relationship. Instead, especially for the Christian parent, that they seek the wise counsel of the Scriptures, apply their own values/convictions, and then supplement with various techniques. And honestly, I don't think Sears' psychologically-flawed and child-centered approach is the best one out there. Read this book and Babywise (Heaven-forbid I even mention that one). Don't approach the nursing relationship without reason and wisdom. Dr. Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is also a great companion book that speaks more to the importance of the baby's sleep habits. Get balanced information and then rest in your own convictions, what you come to do naturally, who your child is and what he needs, and what your partner agrees to do with you. May Christ and honoring Him (i.e. the Gospel) be the center of your home, not you, and not even that dear baby.

2023-01-19 06:02